My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
