hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
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