I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
