im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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