Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
