it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
