Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
He kissed a someone with a penis
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize
