I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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