I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I'm passing your future prison.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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