apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
The uberlube is also flammable
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
