Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Vodka?
Forever.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
They are going to name an STD after you.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
