The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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