i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
