I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
