Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
