Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
