...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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