i was born a porn star she said
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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