i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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