This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
