it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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