I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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