Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
