Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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