She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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