I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
