physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
