a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
