You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
