Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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