Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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