I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
