READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
