So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
