Please, let me fuck your mom
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
