I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
