Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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