There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
