We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
