woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
