Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
