Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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