I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
