your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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