dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
