also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
