just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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