so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
