I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
