Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
i think i just lost a toe
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
