uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
His nipple licking is glorious
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