I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
